In the 1970's, the German car company Opus worked diligently to design their own rendition of the then-popular sports coupes in America. The end result was a distaster. Today, the Mantis' only claim to fame is a few Dutch comedy films, such as the poorly made, edited, and written "Godverdomme Nederlandse Mensen", and sitting on some cinder blocks in front of some mobile home in Europe en masse. And now's your own chance to own one, imported all the way from Essen, just for $25,000! Is it a lot? Sure, but for something that looks like a muscle car, handles like a hatchback, and made in Germany, it's well worth the money!

[replaces Hotrina]



[Author - universetwisters]

You want a truck? Sure, you can have any kind you want. But you want a truck with stakes in the bed? Then you're shit out of luck...unless you take a gander at our new Sadler stake bed! What is it? It's a Sadler with a stake bed, that's what it is! Now you can transport all your precious materials such as cattle, scrap, hay, political prisoners, and other stuff you don't want falling out. You don't want stuff to fall out, right? Then THIS is what you need!

[replaces Sadler]



[Author - universetwisters]

As we marketed before, the Rancher XL is the roughest, toughest SUV for the roughest, toughest man. But what does the roughest, toughest police officer need? The roughest, toughest police officer needs the roughest, toughest SUV, which, logically, is the Rancher XL. This one comes to us from the Chippewa County Sheriff's department in Montana. Sure, it's seen better days, but for just $12,750 you can restore it back to health, and then you can be the roughest, toughest man in the roughest, toughest SUV designed for the roughest, toughest police officers.

[replaces FBI Rancher, or any police vehicle if need be]



[Author - universetwisters]

When we saw this for sale at a police auction in Pennsylvania, we KNEW we had to get our hands on it! Built in 1987, this Vapid Bobcat went from "farmer's truck" to - wait, we were already here. Ah well, just enjoy this updated, more realistic version of it.

[replaces Bobcat]



[Author - universetwisters]

In the spring of 1988, Interglobal Studios released the movie "Hide the Greek Man's Suitcase", in which a Greek Man named Glaucus Theofanopoulos comes to America to be pampered at a spa and promptly gets his suitcase stolen by a group of rowdy kids in a souped up Clover. The film was a flop, but the car sure was remembered for the obviously fake machine gun on the back and poorly-mounted plastic bullbars. Of course, this isn't the authentic one being sold, but rather a replication made by the one and only fan who lives in Montana. Come take it off our hands and get your own piece of automotive film history!

[replaces Clover]



[Author - universetwisters]

Are you a VIP? Mob boss? Car collector? Someone with a lot of space to take up in their garage? Then you need this vintage Stafford Limousine! Imported all the way from the United Kingdom, this is only car that comes to mind with royalty, or hedge funds, or the mafia. Either way, come take it off our hands baby, 'cause you're a rich man! Own a piece of history, and possibly even make history yourself with it!

[replaces Stafford]



[Author - universetwisters]

What do we have here? This here's one of the best cars from the former German Democratic Republic! Of course, there was nothing democratic at all about this car other than, well, it's for the people. Poor people, and as such, it's made of poor quality items. Cardboard seats, an engine held together with STALIN TAPE (the scotch tape of the former USSR), and a body made from plastic. The car's worth only as much as it cost to make, $30, so take it off our hands and hope it doesn't warp on those sunny days, something those communists could never predict.

[replaces Perennial]



[Author - universetwisters]

What do you get when you mix European engineering with American marketing and a Spanish name - the Vapid Makina! It sounds like a car you'd expect young, hip party-goers to drive, right? You're couldn't be more wrong! The previous owner was an old woman from Minneapolis who only took it down the street to drive to church every Sunday. They really should consider getting senior citizens retested for their license again, seeing as we heard she ran over three mailboxes and a dog on the way to church. So yeah, it's got a few scratches and dents, but nothing some paint and a hammer won't fix!

[replaces Premier]



[Author - universetwisters]

Want an SUV that can take you from one end of the country to the other VIA the toughest, ruggedest terrain known to man? If so, we're going to forewarn you now that this isn't the best for offroading. Not only the suspension and everything else is stock, but this simply wasn't made for offroading. Oh no, it was made for suburban housewives carting their kids between school and soccer practice. Stay away from this if you're looking to stand out on the mountain, but hey! We've got a sturdy, 30-year old metal box on wheels here for $8,750! What a steal!

[replaces Landstalker]



[Author - universetwisters]

Ever since Vapid began using the fox platform in 1978, demands have been high for emergency vehicles to be made to keep up with the times. That's when Vapid began selling their best selling Makina sedan with a police package. It was later adopted by many government agencies, from the Vice City police department to Bullworth University campus security. Of course, many police departments ended up ditching them once the Stainer came out, but hell, the Fitzgerald County Sheriff Department in Liberty State kept using them up until the present day, which is good for car collectors like you! One may ask why the hell they're still using squad cars from the 1980s, but one thing's for certain - when you hear the old school, meticulously restored non-digital siren and see those non-LED lights flashing, you'd better start running.

[replaces Copcarla, or any police vehicle if need be]



[Author - universetwisters]