So we all remember the old Mule with the actual hood? Well forget that one! After a lawsuit with the Declassemotor company over ripping off their designs, Maibatsu just decided to import their own cargo trucks straight from Japan, but with steering wheels on the correct side of the road and all the tentacle rape pornography removed from the glove box. It's secure, reliable, and best of all - inconspicuous! Don't need eyes on you when you're stalking your ex or scouting out a score? Just grab this, a boring, everyday truck. Nothing suspicious at all! Either that or you're a regular Joe who needs to move things. Either way, this is all you need.

[replaces Yankee]



[Author - universetwisters]

Don't you just love Monster Trucks? One man in Alabama did. He loved it so much, he turned his vintage Clover into one. He loved and cherished that Clover until he fell into a woodchipper at the ripe old age of 29. Now, this Clover Monster can be YOURS for $19,500! Stuck in traffic? Just drive over it with one hand clenching the wheel and the other clenching the cheapest beer ever brewed in America. Congratulations, you are now white trash!

[replaces Clover]



[Author - universetwisters]

Are you somebody who has some trash you need taken out, an avid hoarder who needs an extra spot for their garbage (get the hint), or an avid collector of garbage trucks! This one's for you! This DFT Trashmaster is more about chicken maggots than chick magnets, and you're getting what you're paying for! $22,000 for an authentic garbage truck, recently retired by the city of Los Santos, only available VIA Sunshine Autos!

[replaces Trashmaster]



[Author - universetwisters]

So you bought yourself a pickup truck, but now you're being laughed at, being called a Redneck and people assuming you're sleeping with your sister whilst high on moonshine. What do you do? Put a camper shell over the back! Then people don't think you're a redneck - people will think that you're a regular person who has to carry things, yet isn't doing it for looks! You HAVE to have them covered up with something! And what better way to do that with a camper shell? If you buy this 1987 Bobcat for $8,500, we'll throw in this camper shell for FREE! That's right, we're throwing in this camper shell we pulled out of a scrapyard in the middle of the night and painted up for FREE! Of course the shell looks shitty - we got it at a scrapyard! But that doesn't matter - what does matter is that you have a camper shell over the bed of your brand new pickup, and that's a wonderful feeling.

[replaces Bobcat]



[Author - universetwisters]

Is it a truck? Is it a car? Is it collecting dust in a guy's storage unit in Vermont? Not anymore! Sunshine Autos has brought you a pristine 1959 Picador. Based on the "utes" from Australia, this is THE American coupe utility vehicle that proved you can still look good in a pickup truck. Of course, that backfired when the rednecks came around, but hey! This is THE 1959 Picador! THE car that baby boomers lust after because their parents had them! THE car that marked the beginning of socially acceptable farm work! THE car that could be yours for $15,500!

[replaces Voodoo]



[Author - universetwisters]

This classic 1969 Clover Cabrio was owned by a former veteran who fought in Grenada and, much like the veteran himself, this Clover hasn't been outside in over 20 years! Rumor has it that, despite it's immaculate condition, it was used in a bank robbery somewhere outside Carcer City in 1972. But who cares about that? Nobody! This prime restored convertible can be all YOURS for $20,000! That's a steal if we've ever seen one.

[replaces Clover]



[Author - universetwisters]

1979 was a rather unremarkable year. Pittsburgh won the superbowl, some shitty movie about a divorce won an academy award, and somebody shot up a school because she "didn't like Mondays". Ergo, we present to you the 1979 Benson stake bed. It's nothing more than a Benson but with, as you guessed it, a stake bed for people who need it. Who needs it? I don't know, farmers, rednecks, people who need something to carry, be creative. Maybe even you could use it some way or another. Use it on your farm to lug around hay and other stuff, use it to carry twenty times the ammount of groceries, drive it to the office and surprise your coworkers. Either way, this is all yours for $12,000.

[replaces Benson]



[Author - universetwisters]

This here's from another police auction - straight out of Macon, Georgia, is a 1969 Clover. But what was it doing at a police auction, you might be asking yourselves? Simple - it's owner got arrested for running moonshine! You can tell it just by looking at the car. For one, all the glass is removed and replaced with bars to keep the roof sturdy in the event of a rollover. Second, all the unnecessary bits that weigh the car down are out. Finally, the trunk's been equipped to run some of the finest white lightning across the Appalachains with a storage crate literally bolted into the chassis. It doesn't get any more white trash than this!

[replaces Clover]



[Author - universetwisters]

When we saw this for sale at a police auction in Pennsylvania, we KNEW we had to get our hands on it! Built in 1987, this Vapid Bobcat went from "farmer's truck" to "white supremacist militant truck", complete with reinforced metal framing, .50 caliber M2 machine gun, and original cassette deck. Four cylinders, 20 MPG, and now 83 pounds of machine gun if you act now on this! That's goddamn right son, we're literally giving away a free machine gun with this truck! Do you know where else you can get an M2 in this day and age? Army surplus stores? Sure. Gun conventions? Probably. Can you get any of them for free with a pickup truck? Exactly! Nobody else is selling a pickup truck and giving away a free machine gun and if someone is, let us know and we'll put it to use - not unless YOU act on this first!

[replaces Bobcat]



[Author - universetwisters]

From efficiency to wiener schnitzel to that television show about that depressed loaf of bread, Bürgerfahrzeug is an iconic symbol of Germany. And what better way to acknowledge that fact with one of their most iconic vehicles, the T2 Microbus? From a factory in Wolfsburg to a hippie festival in San Fierro to a collector's garage in Spokane until his house got broken into and he got shot. But that's not important, what is important is that we now have a near-mint condition Microbus right here, on our lot for $5,500! $5,500! Do you think you can beat that price, you insolent piece of shit? Don't try to haggle with us or we're going drag you into the woods and make you dig your own grave! Anyway, if you're looking to complete the hippie look, run weed across the border, or if you're a die-hard Germanophile with SS flags hanging over your bed and nothing but Kraftwerk on your MP3 player, this is the van for you.

[replaces Camper]



[Author - universetwisters]